Each couple in this lifestyle makes various unique guardrails to protect their relationship with each other. These guidelines will often evolve after some time to all the more likely match that works for the couple's relationship.
A few swingers may not agree with your standards or vice versa, but the couple who makes their rules are absolutely alright for that couple. The swinging communities will respect each others' rules, and firmly realize that bettering their own relationship is of prime concern over any swinging activities.
When we are done with our swinging encounter, we're all returning home with our better half. Nobody wants drama at the party or on the drive home. Avoiding conflict and drama will benefit all parties involved! So, please follow the rules, take it slow and steady to gain confidence and enjoy the sex session. There is no need to rush anyone including yourself. Keep situations calm and don't pressurize anyone to defy or bend their rules.
Here are some examples of personal rules to discuss with your partner and check whether you need to follow them or not.
10 EXAMPLES OF RULES & BOUNDARIES TO DISCUSS WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE STARTING SWINGING:
1. NO "TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM" RULE
This rule implies neither of you will play, if either of you isn’t attracted to their corresponding play partner (or simply doesn't have a craving for playing that day or time). Nobody needs to endure something they hate just so their partner can have an outstanding ecstatically adventurous time. You should try to know and realize what every one of you prefers to have in a play partner and figure out some methods to convey whether it's a no-proceed or yes-proceed type of situation. Utilizing code words or sign can be highly advantageous. Everyone will have a great time if everyone wants the same outcome
2. NO KISSING RULE
This is a typical principle for newbies, who frequently drop it quickly once their comfort zone expands. In the event that you are an amateur and kissing makes you feel progressively good, apply this rule. Numerous individuals think that it's hard not to kiss their partners during wild sexually adventurous times, so they may decline to play with you – however, that's their loss!
3. SOFT SWAP or NO FULL SWAP (NO PENETRATION) RULE
Another typical rule. A few couples might just want to take part in the soft swap. Kissing, stroking, groping and oral – which are all exceptionally hot – is the thing that they desire. Numerous lifestyle amateurs begin along these lines and some experienced full swappers migrate to this standard after some time. It can help defuse intense emotional matters, ease STD stresses, and evacuate a ton of the pressure and performance anxiety that may accompany full swap scenarios. Sometimes good oral sex is all anyone needs to have a mind blowing experience!
4. SAME ROOM VERSUS SEPARATE ROOM PLAY RULE
There are advantages and disadvantages for each, and you can choose for yourselves what the pros and cons are You should discuss with your partner to understand, learn, and consent to what is acceptable and comfortable for both of you. A few couples approve of independent play dates, others are just okay with the young ladies playing independently with one another, and still, there are others who want everybody to engage together consistently. There are bunches of potential game plans, so plan what both of you want, need and desire. Be prepared to change this standard – and some other rules on the list – after some time; people evolve, relationships evolve, and emotions evolve. Your rules should adapt to your evolution, as well. Some get turned on by being separated, and some people are terrified, so please take your time figuring this scenarios pros and cons.
5. NO ANAL RULE
Butt-centric play is considerably more typical in this lifestyle than in the "vanilla" world since swingers realize how to carefully explore those touchy and amazing nerve endings. There are some really gifted swingers who know just the correct method to take part in finger play or anal sex. In the event that your partner has some huge male organ, you probably won't have loved it earlier, but in the swinging world, you may discover a few men with just the perfect sized equipment suitable for you to relish anal adventures. You probably won't be ready for this or need to reserve it for your special partner. Obviously, it’s entirely your choice and decision. Remember if you have a smallish penis, you have a great dick for anal!
6. NO REPEATS RULE
A few couples won't repeat play with the same couple within a certain time period (one month, a half year, a year, whatever) to maintain a strategic distance from any passionate and emotional connection. This encourages continuing swinging restricted to physical pleasure and far from your own emotional attachments. Numerous swingers like this rule so they can relish and explore all the more sexual variety throughout everyday life. However, you can change this rule according to your preferences. Veterans call this rule "new car smell."
7. NO SOLO COMMUNICATION RULE
Always know and learn how to deal with communication issues so there are no surprises or mysteries. Under very common circumstances, a couple will allow the man to deal with their online profile(s) so the woman doesn't have to manage any irritating fakers claiming to be swingers. When you contact a genuine couple, how are you going to engage in progressive communication? You can start up a group message or get everybody on a group call. A few people prefer web-based flirting, while others find it causes passionate apprehension. One solution is no "solo" talks, or full access to all social media and email of your partner. Sunlight and honesty builds trust.
8. CONDOMS REQUIRED RULE
Discuss with your beloved about your condom policy. Do you need condoms for oral? Will you play with another couple who doesn't generally use condoms? There are a few couples that have intercourse without condoms in the swinging lifestyle, and you should discuss with your partner and consent to your comfort zone regarding condoms before you engage in the swinging session. Just be aware of all health risks before starting playing without condoms! Adult performers get tested every 2 weeks for STDs to prevent the spread of STDs. Most swingers are not diligent about testing, so condom use is encouraged to avoid an unfortunate reminder of your unprotected sexual experience.
9. EVADING OR SEEKING UNICORNS RULE
Single women, AKA unicorns, can be insanely awesome and are very rare. Single women are unquestionably in high demand on the swinging lifestyle. Most swinging single women are incredibly magnificent. A few unicorns may put additional demands or requests to enable them to feel more secure and comfortable with a couple or single person. This additional work makes a few couples not keen on playing with unicorns. Indeed, even a very amazing unicorn who does nothing incorrectly can uncover some sticky issues in your relationship, since threesomes once in a while end up with every one of the three individuals having flawlessly equal amounts of ecstasy and attention. A few couples want to keep things less complicated and prefer to stick to just different couples so nobody feels left out or overlooked.
10. DRINKING LIMITS RULE
There is typically a lot of drinks and liquor at swinging parties. Similar to drugs, drinking in excessive amount hardly leads to a mind-blowing swinging session. Excessive drinking can finally end up in breaking rules inadvertently. You should have clear cut rules on alcohol consumption levels. Most swinger folks normally drink less because nobody needs to have an alcohol-induced failure to occur when they're surrounded by hot women. Newer women in the swinging lifestyle will, in general, will have to stick to this rule as they drink away their nerves. Be careful and watch your alcohol consumption – and watch out for one another's intake, too. You might not have any desire to return home yet, but, on the off chance that your partner has had an excessive amount to drink, you're most likely happier taking a break or leaving early. Guys should be especially careful since "whisky dick" can be very embarrassing!
To be a successful swinger in the Swinging lifestyle requires an adoring, honest, and confiding relationship with your trusted partner and peers. Communication is always key and plays an imperative role. Likewise, numerous swinging couples and singles have defined rules and limits that are fundamental to their swinging success. Making standards and rules enables everybody to be in agreement and on the same page while getting a charge out of this lifestyle. There are numerous reasons why the rules may require modifications over a time period. It could be a direct result of challenges in the relationship, Illness, work or family issues, or simply the anxiety of regular day to day life. It is essential to keep the lines of communication open and efficiently and effectively adjust to your swinger’s lifestyle rules regularly.
Remember that your individual, as well as collective inclinations can evolve and develop in a sound and healthy way in the event that you cooperate and play as a team. Now survey these rules with your partner and check whether the swinging lifestyle is a perfect choice for you. Swinging can be a bit overwhelming for those who haven’t done it before.
Inexperienced people have the wrong perception that swinging is about mindlessly swapping partners. However, that cannot be further from the truth. The key to making your first swinging experience memorable is to be prepared – otherwise, it will probably be your last. In other words, rules for swingers are like the testaments for the believers – a road map to happiness by avoiding painful choices.This is why it’s important to familiarize yourself with the swinging rules. Failing to do so can damage the relationship with your partner and also make other couples uncomfortable. In this article we’ve listed the most important rules for swingers so you can avoid negative consequences:
1. Discuss Comfort Levels With Your Partner
The most important rule for swingers new to this lifestyle is discussing boundaries. Always develop a mutual understanding of how far to go before you engage with any couple. Remember that swinging doesn’t always mean having penetrative sex. Some couples only prefer foreplay and oral. While others may be down to have vaginal and even anal. So, what are your limits as a couple?
2. Set a Code word
Swinging can be overwhelming for first-timers, especially if you have a hard time controlling your nerves. So the last thing you want is to make your experience awkward and uncomfortable by not knowing how to make it stop. This is why we recommend setting a few codewords. Some code words might indicate pleasure while others pain. Use them while you’re sexually engaging with other couples so your partners know what’s going on with your feelings.
3. Practice Safe Sex
Unprotected sex is a risk that we’d never recommend taking. Even if you’re swinging with Bob and Mary who you’ve known for years. You never know what goes on in their sex life. How active they have been in the lifestyle scene, and how seriously they take the safety measures. This is why, whether you’re partner swapping with someone you already know or going to a swinger club – ALWAYS carry condoms..and lube!
4. Communicate Clearly
Like every sexual experience, if you want to make swinging memorable, then communicate clearly. Talk to your partner if they like the couple you plan on engaging with. Share any kinks or sexual preferences you have. At the same time, make an effort to understand what the other couple expects. No one can read your mind, so unless you don’t tell them what you’re expecting, they wouldn’t know.
5. Drink Casually, Don't Ever Get Drunk
This is the most important swinger party rule. Sure, drinking can set the tone and help you calm your nerves before you swing. But, we only recommend drinking under a limit. Two glasses of wine or beer are enough to get tipsy. Any more than that would be a bad idea because you may lose control over yourself. The last thing you want is to make the other couple feel uncomfortable just because you had a few more drinks than you could handle.
6. Listen to your Partner
Swinging is a mutual decision, and you should respect what your partner likes and dislikes. If you’re planning to swing with a particular couple, but your partner doesn’t want to, then listen to what he/she prefers. It will only be fun when both of you are into it and truly feel comfortable.
7. Adhere to Club Etiquettes
If you’re going to a swinger club then keep in mind that every club has its set of rules and guidelines that they’re quite strict about. Some of the guidelines include having a particular dress code and play areas.
Bringing your own booze. And not bringing any hidden cameras (for obvious reasons). However, take your time to go through our city sex guides, and under the section “where to meet people for casual sex” you’ll find the sex clubs list. There are all the info that you need to have a great experience. Yet, talk to the host upon your arrival.
8. Stay Quiet as a Voyeur
There’s nothing more annoying than being spectated by voyeurs who can’t stay quiet. So if you’re watching other couples, then make sure not to make unnecessary noise, and please don't self pleasure unless the group consents.
9. Clean Up your Own Mess
Just because someone enjoys having sex with you, doesn’t mean they’d also enjoy cleaning your gunk. Whether you’re swinging in a lifestyle club, or at someone’s home, don’t forget to clean your mess. That shows respect for others.
10. Take it Slow
First-time couples should take it slow and spend some time at the first base. And even if you have the no-kissing rule, then at least, get briefly acquainted with the couple. Rushing into it may be too overwhelming for your partner, especially if he/she already has a hard time controlling their nerves.
11. Calm your Nerves
Keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong in telling the other couple that you’re nervous. They’ll go out of their way to make you relax. A good way to relax before the action is to watch a porn movie with them. It helps to calm the nerves and also to build sexual tension. And don’t forget to bring the booze.
12. Take Care of your Hygiene
This should already be obvious enough, but if it isn’t, then do not forget to take care of your hygiene. Before you swing with a couple, make sure to take a shower, and especially wash your private parts. And it doesn’t hurt to buy a perfume, and keep a mint because no one likes being around a bad body odor and breathe. Ladies make sure your pussy is well trimmed and is odor free.
13. Consent is Key
Regardless of how deep you’re into the moment, don’t forget that consent is key. The moment any of the sexual partners ask you to stop, you need to respect their decision.This is also the reason we don’t recommend getting too drunk before swinging. Otherwise, it may become difficult for you to control yourself.
14. Don’t Undermine your Partner
If you value your relationship, then make sure not to make your partner feel insecure. Do not undermine their sexual prowess in front of another couple.The only thing you would achieve by doing that is to make your partner feel hesitant for a second time. And in the worst-case scenario, it may even permanently damage your relationship.
15. Be Courteous After Sex
You don’t have to exchange numbers and become best buddies with every couple you have sex with. But the least you can do is to be courteous by being understanding, polite, and thoughtful.In a nutshell, behave with them the same way you would expect them to behave towards you.
Both men and women may wish to explore same sex encounters, but generally, in the lifestyle, Male to Male encounters are very rare, where as female-female situations are very common and accepted. Please discuss these topics before you are in a play situation with your partners to avoid any uncomfortable situations.
Why You Shouldn’t Break The Rules While Swinging
Breaking the rules while swinging can have some serious consequences and here are to name a few:
1. Ruins the Relationship with your Partner
Swinging is all about mutual understanding and agreement. Forcing your partner to engage with another couple, or not respecting their sexual preferences can damage your relationship. This is why avoid violating any of the rules that put your partner in an uncomfortable spot.
2. Risk of Sexually Transmitted Diseases
No matter how tempting it is, unprotected sex isn’t worth the risks it comes with.Be extra careful especially if you’re in a swinger club and don’t personally know the couple. You never know how many people they may have slept with. Instead of relying on others to bring protection, always have a pack of your own.
3. May get you Banned from the Swinger Club
If you’re going to a swinger club, then make sure to strictly follow their guidelines. Yet, they may not spell everything out for you.This couple in the video suggests checking out their website before going so you’re better prepared. They have also other great advice for first-time swingers…
Thank you : https://worldhookupguides.com/rules-for-swingers/
SWINGING LINGO: MUST-KNOW WORDS & PHRASES
bdsm: an overlapping abbreviation of bondage and discipline (BD), dominance and submission (DS), and sadism and masochism (SM)
bi-curious: a heterosexual who is interested in a sexual experience with someone of the same gender
bi-sexual: a person who is sexually attracted to all genders
bukkake: repeated ejaculation on an individual
dead bedroom: a term used to describe a depleted sex life
dom: an abbreviated term for the word (dominator), someone who is the dominant person in a sexual context and/or relationship
double penetration (“DP”): when someone of the female sex has two penises in any bodily orifice at the same time (e.g. anus, vagina, mouth)
fetish: a sexual desire whereby someone is sexually gratified in an atypical way to a certain object, article of clothing, body part, etc. (e.g. panty fetish)
full swap: when a partner/couple is willing to engage in full sexual intercourse with another person or couple
kink: an unconventional sexual fantasy, fetish, or concept; derived from the idea of a “kink” in one’s sexual behaviour
gangbang: when multiple partners (usually 3 or more) engage in sexual intercourse consenually with a single partner
group sex: when more than two people engage in sexual intercourse (e.g. multiple couples having sex in same room)
mfm: a threesome involve two males and one female
fmf: a threesome involving one male and two females
pansexual: someone whose sexual attraction is not restricted by gender, biological sex, or gender choice
polyamory: the concept of having more than one romantic and/or sexual relationship at the same time
sub: an abbreviated word for the term “submissor”; the submissive person in a sexual context and/or relationship
soft swap: when a partner/couple is willing to engage in foreplay (e.g. oral sex) and sexual interactions with another person or couple except for full intercourse
the lifestyle: the modern day term for “swinging”
vanilla: term used for regular people who engage in monogamy and do not swing
Thank you : https://curiouspassions.com/swinging-lingo-words-you-need-to-know/